My best friends and I got away for a few days to one of our favorite places to go together. Deep in the woods, “where the wifi is weak and the connection is strong” — Five Pines Cabin.
We sat, we talked, we ate a LOT, we explored the cute little town, and we attempted to find a spa and found ourselves in the sketchiest place ever 😉 Time with these girls FILLS. MY. CUP. Getting away for a couple days to recharge was so refreshing.
The little town we stay in is so charming. Like everything you think of when you think of a small mountain town. I could drive down the gravel roads, crack up at the quirks, and talk to the people all day long.
Tried to pose with my friend’s beer-in-a-boot to send a pic to Ty… spilled it all over myself like a goob.
One of the funnest things we did was go kayaking down some “rapids” (using that term super loosely). We had the entire river to ourselves the entire time. It was so much fun.
I have started to write so many posts about these girls over the last year. In the end I backspace, because there’s no real way to convey what I want to say. The jist is that if you do not have your tribe, the ones you could tell ANYTHING to, who have seen you at your WORST, who have stood by you on your darkest day, who shoot it to you straight, who keep you humble by making fun of you, who fight for your marriage, who pray over you, who “get” you, who love your children like their own, who drop everything to be by your side, who run in the door when the rest of the world runs out, who stand by you when others won’t… if you don’t have those people, INTENTIONALLY PRAY FOR THEM. That might sound super “duh,” but Ty and I began to intentionally pray for friends like these 5 years ago when we started the adoption process. God showed up in the hugest way. He gave us these 4 couples (their husbands are all my husband’s very best friends as well). We have walked through many adoptions together, births together, storms together, devastating loss together, victories together, redemptions together, and mundane everyday stuff together and I consistently pinch myself that God has been so good to us through His gift of community.
If you feel isolated and alone, I get it. I have been there. If you are sick of devoting energy to surface-y relationships and wanting to find that core group of friends you can “go deep” with, I remember vividly what that it is like. I pray consistently for those who feel lonely, that they would find community… community like this. If you haven’t already, ask God for legit community in your life. He will surpass your expectations.
I had a visitor while we were kayaking. I paddled ahead and spent some time in solitude with her.
This is not the first time since Harbor died where a butterfly has stayed super intentionally near me. We always have one that practically sticks to our side when we are at the land. We had one follow us for an entire day in the middle of a lake once. Yesterday, while I was kayaking, this butterfly (its wings were orange when they were open) fluttered all around me, landing on me, and staying near me. I put out my hand and it crawled onto it. I talked to Harbor, I talked to Jesus, and the butterfly let me nuzzle and kiss it two times. For around thirty minutes, it stayed with me, flapping its wings excitedly like it was waving, and then being still, just setting on my lap as I took in the insanely beautiful surroundings. I drank in the air as if I was breathing in my baby. I felt an overwhelming flood of peace and stillness and gratitude. I was reminded that the God who made every leaf on every tree is the one who holds my girl. Nature does that for me – shows me how big and how intricate and how loving God is. It rejuvenates me and gives me the hope to keep going, the feeling that I can do this, I can keep living, I can “run this race with ENDURANCE” (Hebrews 12:1).
As I get further along down this road, I doubt the signs less. I accept the peace that is offered to me, without as many questions.
There’s more to this story that makes it even more undeniable to me, but they are things that are sacred to us. In summary: I felt my baby yesterday, and I am so grateful. Heaven is real, I know it for certain. And I’ve never felt more near to Heaven than now, when I have an insatiable hunger for it. Thank you thank you Jesus for making a way and making a place for us, and for bringing glimpses of it down to us in nature to sustain us in the wait.
Grateful + hopeful,